Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Movies I HATE... Prepare to Loath Me - 5/09/2007

Fight Club... it just never really ever clicked with me. Firstly, the movie wasn't uplifting or inspirational at all, but rather seriously depressing. We're all the same decaying organic matter as everything else... No one is any special than anyone else? Are you going to sit there and really say you're no more worthy than a serial killer or pedophile? You're really going to classify yourself on the same level as a burglar or rapist? People segregate themselves into social classes to live more comfortable lives, not to make people feel bad about themselves. Its okay to accept socially ranked people opposed to your own social status, but its always questionable to actually live in their environments among untrustworthy people with different morals and principals. However many social issues they create, its completely inevitable. People will segregate to live more secure lives.

Not only that, but the whole anti-materialist banter was equally aggravating... people work damn hard to live a damn good living, not to live in some crappy house out in the middle of a commerical/industrial zone. No, no... this movie was merely a savior for those hippie, hugely lefty people who are too pathetic, too poor, and too lazy to make a decent living to own decent things. I'm sure if they worked real hard and earned themselves a billion dollars, they'd sing a whole different tune. And the money in any case is always contributed to charity and to just causes. Bill Gates for one... when he dies almost all his fortune is being given to charity. But simultaneously, these are changing times... in which having as much money as you can make is essential for the survival of your own family.

Perhaps those aren't the arguments at hand, but they are what I gathered from the film.

Also... just the overall style and feel in which the film was shot dug hard into a trashy and gritty image that would make anyone feel depressed. There wasn't an uplifting or inspirational moment in the film at all. And it seemed like an eternity, this film just sucked you further and deeper into this hopeless grimy underworld every second of its never ending time span. It was perhaps one of the more infuriating and frustrating movies I've ever seen. It was overrated by everyone, even by those who clearly stood in direct opposition of everything the film is against. I can never even begin to like this film until I lose my self respect and become an asshole, just like everyone involved in its cult following. Everyone I ever knew who liked that movie rid themselves of dignity, and reduced their pride to the lowly standards of Fight Club, like a monkey shot out into space (if that even makes sense).

Senseless babble or accurate rant, that's really my thought about the film. To this day I can't watch it. Its a corrupting piece of teeny pop bull crap which no self respecting person should enjoy watching. But that's just my opinion.

Pulp Fiction... the film that revolutionized Hollywood forever!!1 omg. Seriously though, I appreciate the film, or did at one time. I would've gladly watched it without a second thought being a possibility. And I used to back in the day. But the more exposure I saw from Tarentino, and the more his fans became apparent, the more I began losing interest... and this lacking interests soon developed into a deathly loathing. I will behead a seven year old virgin of Christ before ever watching that movie again. I will go to incredible measures to ensure I never, ever see that movie for as long as I live. And the reason being is this insanely absurd position that the film changed Hollywood and now every directing method used today was from direct influence of Pulp Fiction. I've even seen Pulpheads (my term for overraters) go as far as compare epic movies of the new millennium to the fathering mechanics of Pulp Fiction. Its okay to like Tarentino, but don't over do it and ruin the experience for other people. Because of this ignorant stance, I can no longer enjoy watching the film without nitpicking whatever flaws I discover and rant endlessly on them in passionate defiance of this overrating phenomenon. Not only this, but I think Tarentino is a prick.

The Matrix... I never did like the Matrix come to think about it. There comes a time in every movie-goers life in which they must appreciate a movie's concept, but totally hate the presentation. What we saw was two hours of a Keanue Reeves photo shoot. I mean... its like here Neo is nothing but a paper pushing office lackey, and not but ten minutes later... here is, a mere Jedi in a virtual galaxy collapsing the fairly policing antagonist government to make apparent the true fate of the humans, even though in a virtual simulation of life are probably having a better time than the poverty stricken hippy hobos of Zion (or whatever that stupid city is called). Are you kidding me? I mean, I truly love the idea of this world we've come to realize as... well, reality is actually but a computer simulation. I love that idea! But I really thought it could've been delivered in a more believable manner with a lot less Hollywood glam and CGI imagery and Keanue's dopey face.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

New Earthlike Planet Discovered - 4/24/2007

"An Earthlike planet spotted outside our solar system is the first found that could support liquid water and harbor life, scientists announced Tuesday." - MSNBC

Gliese 581 C (the planet's given name) is said to be the most Earthlike planet found to this date. Though don't get too comfortable with it, its hardly a mirror image. Gliese is approximately 50% larger with about 5 times the mass of Earth. Other weird facts include the planet's yearly cycle, which would conclude within 13 Earth days, as its 15 times closer to its star than we are to the sun. The article continues to describe the planet as being orbitably fixed within its sun's "habbitable zone" (which is a specific zone where the planet is most likely to sustain liquid water).

You see, that's the major question now. Does the planet support any liquid water? If so, the chances of discovering extraterrestrial life would have significantly leaped into the realms of reality. At this time, the next major steps are to further explore deeper into Gliese's atmosphere, which consists of currently unknown elements.

Mankind has lived for itself for no longer than the blink of an eye within the universe's scale of time, which is infinite beyond our comprehension. And within that blink of an eye, we've grown the ability of understanding technology and advancing on it, quickly rendering ourselves almost godlike in sheer will. And in knowing this, and in appreciating this...

No one is above spitting crumbs from their mouth, after shoveling a Duncan donut down their throat to feed their fatty thunder thighs, while screaming at some "moron" who cut you off in the middle of morning rush time traffic because you couldn't just let off the throttle for 3 seconds and just let him in for god sakes! No...

Rather than being the sensible human being nature intended you to be, you'd rather crap on our evolutionary fate to better secure your little spot in traffic, as if the difference of one little car will push you over the threshold of being late to your meaningless day job that you probably don't even give a crap about to begin with!

Look people... we've managed to accomplish all types of history making achievements... can't we make morning traffic one of them? God damn. Just when you think things couldn't get gayer... a Coloradan with a car always surprises you.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Washington Joins Cellphone Ban - 4/12/2007

Recently in the ever revolving news, Washington state has joined the ranks in the "War on Cellphones." The bill's slogan "Hang up and Drive" says it all. Violators will be issued a $101 ticket. However, the enforcement on the newly adopted ban is only a secondary offense - meaning citations are handed out solely if drivers are found finagling with them while violating other traffic laws.

The big picture is the long term evolution of cellphone consumerism. Two decades ago cellphones were rather ridiculous. They were huge, impractical, and really just unattractive. But as the technology expanded into incorporating more capabilities in a nicer package, the product soon became not merely a luxury, but a necessity in everyday American culture. So much so that people are willing to put aside the physics of a 3,500lb car they're driving at 100mph into good old unpredictable 5 o'clock traffic.

And the question should be asked as this person is damned to hell, was your cellphone really worth it?

And because of this, a sensible person would probably want to ban cellphone use in vehicles all together, right? Well, think twice. Its a double edged sword. As much of an annoyance it is to see people single-handedly weaving throughout bumper-to-bumper traffic at unholy speeds with a cellphone planted to the side of their face is, they also serve as something of a distraction from another traffic related issue... road rage.

There could very well be a monster within all of us, just heavily masked by the our cellular bliss. Take the cellphone away completely, and I'll hustl.. or bet what money I have that overall road rage would increase, causing perhaps less accidents but a ton more drama or careless driving.

People want to be entertained or talked to on their way home from work, especially those who are burdened with the inevitably of traffic jams. Without that ability to call home or friends... their ADD sets in... and soon they transform into lunatic traffic Nazis.

Undoubtedly, this will cause great civil strife between those pampered with cellphone oblivion and those who just drive like normal people. Decades of tension between the two social groups would indefinitely intensify until one day... that void which was occupied by cellular entertainment turns into blood lust... causing someone to snap, thus sparking the most violent civil war ever in earth time.

Well... scratch that last part. But definitely something is lost in banning cellphones all together. And knowing "American probability" so well... this gaping emptiness of interest will probably be filled with hatred, causing effects that of this minute are completely beyond our comprehension.